Toilet Training - The Potty

Decades ago in the 1960's, 80% of all babies were potty trained by the age of 18 months. Today, the average is closer to 36 months (3 years) - in other words it has almost doubled in a shade under fifty years. The technology of the modern diaper is largely to blame because they are now so absorbent that the baby can hardly feel any discomfort when an accident occurs and therefore has no reason to want to get out of diapers. Back in the old days of the cotton diapers, it wasn't comfortable and you'd soon know as a parent if the baby needed changing!

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It was called "using" when I was a young mother. As stated before I could write numerous pages on the subject. All I can suggest, is just be prepared to spend hours and hours in a "bathroom". If you travel out of state during this time in your child's life, be prepared to see many bathrooms/rest rooms. Believe me, everywhere you take your child, the child will have to "use". Every trip you take, your child will have to "use". In the home of friends, your child will have to "use".

Children can "smell" at this age. They can smell a toilet. Every bathroom will inspire your child to use, (those within a 25 mile radius.)

Of course the odds that your child will actually "use" are slim to none.

Avoid, "out of state" traveling. If this, "out of state" traveling cannot be avoided, allow at least several days of extra travel time for your child to "use".

In today's world, you may want to invest in those big boy/girl pants. You could save allot of time.

The Ear Tube Issue

The baby is almost a year old and that little bundle of joy still cries most of the night. He has been to the doctor's office, at least once every two weeks for the last several months. The doctor says, "It appears you have a healthy baby. But, but, but, maybe the baby needs ear tubes." Of course, almost every parent eagerly agrees. I mean, anything to get the baby to sleep at night, as well as the parents.

The tubes have been put in and still the baby does not sleep well on most nights.

Are tubes in the ears necessary? I really do not know.

Not one person I know, who is my age, has ever had ear tubes. But this was the 1950's and 1960's. However, not one of my children had "ear tubes".

When did the "tympanostomy" make it's debut? And does it really help? I am not sure. It did help one of my grandchildren, or so it appears. But, the other still cries all night.

Those "ear tubes", are they ALL really necessary? I am still not convinced.

Of course, I remind myself that in the 1950's, 1960's and early 1970's, there were hardly any daycare facilities. These facilities, so common in the 1980's through this day, may be spreading these ear infections.

Yet, this evening, while attempting to gather more information on this "tympanostomy" procedure, I came across this little gem. More than 500,000 children undergo this procedure. In the end, long term studies have called the necessity of routine ear tube surgery into question. I am still not certain what my opinion is just yet.

Roll back to 1962. My grandmother, on why cousin "t-putt, putt" was still crying. "Well he is a digger. I saw him digging in the toilet and his diaper and he put his fingers in his mouth. His stomach is upset. That's why he cries all night."

Of course,no medical research has come out to support Maw Maw Tib's theory, but there is no medical research to disprove it.

Special Thoughts Through The Years

Stage 1 - The Pregnancy

Heartburn, hemorrhoids, hormones, Triple "H".
The thought:  These three words represent the good old days, when life was simple and carefree.

Stage 2 - Newborn -1 year

Diaper rashes, spit-up and poop, oh my.
The thought:  I remember pure cornstarch working wonders for diaper rash and thinking NO my life will never be the same again.

Stage 3 - 1-2 years old

My many purchases of designer baby clothes.
The thought:  Learn from my mistake. Save your money.  You will need it.  When your child is old enough he/she will "demand" designer clothes.

Stage 4 - 2-3 years old


Shopping with a child.
The thought:  Again learn from my mistake.  You will not be able to shop in peace and should avoid shopping,  Shopping with your child at this age is almost impossible and will shorten your life expectancy by at least 10 years.

Stage 5 - 3-5 years old

Traveling and buying the things my child demanded.  At this age they "want" things.
The thought:  Even if you give in and buy your child what he/she wants (all in an effort to preserve your sanity), when you get home the item will break or will not work, "like it did on television."  Your child will scream and cry anyway. Save your money, let them cry at the mall.

Stage 6 - 5-15 years old

Joining and quitting
The thought:  Gasoline is not cheap (even in my day). They do not have to "join" everything. Because they will "quit". See definitions.

Stage 7 - 15-18 years old

Aggravated battery is felony, punishable by law.
The thought:  Control yourself, aggravated battery is a felony, aggravated battery is a felony ...

Here is my beautiful family today (minus Libby Claire).  Nothing in the world means more to me than my family.

The Baby Blues

I was so happy (most of the time) during my pregnancy and I was even happier after the delivery of my beautiful, healthy baby boy. I never thought this could happen to me.

When I first gave birth it was called the"baby blues" and no one talked about it. How could I be so irritable, feel so sad and cry most of the time. I had to try to hide my feelings. This could not be normal.

I struggled to camouflage my irritability and sadness. When I cried, I said it was because I was so "happy". This was a very difficult time for me.

I knew of a few other women who had been hospitalized for suffering from the "baby blues". They were labeled as being "crazy". These women should have been happy, something had to be wrong with them. I could never risk being labeled "crazy", I had to keep quiet.

Thank goodness these "baby blues" did subside in about two weeks.

And thank goodness this is now called postpartum depression and considered a normal part of early motherhood.  Just the old hormones getting back to normal.

The Diaper War of 1974

Every parent has taken a picture of their child wearing only a diaper. I'll bet every parent has a baby picture of themselves wearing only a diaper. Diapers, the ultimate baby staple. You cannot raise a baby without them.

The diaper war, cloth diaper versus disposable diaper, has been going on since the disposable diaper was invented. I was drafted into this war in 1974. The battle being fought at that time was the "cost" battle. Back in those days disposable diapers were considered very expensive and two income households were the exception and not the norm.

I began the war fighting for the cause of the cloth diaper. This lasted two days. The constant smell of ammonia coming from the bucket of diapers soaking in the laundry room began to alter my brain function. I had already "disposed" of three cloth diapers in this short period of time, so it seemed only logical to switch sides in this war.

Believe me, disposable diapers in 1974 were not at all like the diapers of today. The diapers of 1974 were merely a smaller version of hospital bed pads with tape on the corners. Re-taping a perfectly usable diaper involved using duct tape and a 3M bonding solution. Their unique 'wingfold' design was a guarantee that only half of the contents would actually be contained in the diaper.

Today infantry soldiers, I mean parents, are so lucky to have ultra dry thin diapers in the hourglass shape, with absorbent gelling material, featuring the frontal tape system, which allows multiple repositioning of the lateral tape without tearing the diaper, in sizes ranging from Preemie to size 7. (I'm out of breath just typing that sentence.)

Still the diaper war continues. The impact of disposable diapers versus cloth diapers, battle "environment".

I am so glad to be retired from the diaper military. Good luck to all you diaper soldiers of the world.

He Is The Cutest One

Since labor was induced for the birth of my first child there is nothing memorable to blog about the trip to the hospital. (Wait until the blog about the hospital trip for birth number four. Trust me that will be a trip.)
Arrive at hospital, (fast forward) I have now given birth to a beautiful baby boy. Oh, my God, I am a mother.

Flowers, balloons, gift baskets and people filled the room. I could barely make my way (in a wheelchair, common practice at the time) to the nursery viewing window to see my baby boy. (Have you viewed the movie My Big, Fat Greek Wedding? Well that is my family. Only if the movie would have been inspired by my life the title would have been "My Big, Pork and Crawfish Fat, Boudin Eating Cajun Family").

Every living person related to my baby is standing at that window, in addition to the spirits of deceased Great Grandma Lucy and Great Aunt Ky, my cousin Rose could just feel their presence. Everyone had an opinion (you know what they say about an "opinion") as to who our baby looked like. I could hear the relatives commenting, "Oh, he looks like his dad", "No, he looks like his mom", "He is the spitting image of Paw Paw Gus", "No he's little Xavier, Aunt Marilyn's nephew made all over again", ... )
One thing everyone agreed on, he was the cutest baby in the nursery and maybe his little round head did remind me of Paw Paw Gus.

After five days in the hospital mommy and baby are coming home. (Back in those days a complication free delivery required a five day hospital stay.)

He looked at me with those big brown eyes. I held him close and whispered, "We're taking you home today".

Once at home, we were greeted by close friends and relatives bearing prepared food dishes and eagerly awaiting their turn to hold the baby.
I visited with my friends and relatives. My mother fixed a wonderful dinner for all of us. The homecoming day was just perfect.

On top of all of this, my baby was a perfect angel (see definitions). He slept almost all day long.

After everyone left, I realized just how tired I really was. I couldn't wait to take a good long shower and get a good nights sleep.  It was really impossible to get a good night's sleep in the hospital.  Then, my bundle of joy awoke, looked at me with those big brown eyes as if to say, "You ain't seen nothing yet!"

My Journey Begins

It was 1973 ...

I was pregnant with my first child. I read all the books and magazines, as well as any newspaper articles concerning childbirth and raising children. NOTHING prepared me for the years ahead.

After surviving the last thirty-seven years, I feel it is my duty to inform everyone who wants to have a child the "TRUTH".

Although I am writing in an attempt to be funny, I want to make it clear that what I write is the "TRUTH".

Up, Up and Away On Those Pregnancy Hormones

"Congratulations, you are pregnant", my doctor said. What he should have said was, "Welcome to a world of confusion, chaos, worry and responsibility." Then those raging hormones were taking me higher and higher, to the land of designing the nursery, to the joys of all the baby showers. All those cute baby clothes and gadgets, you can never have too many things absolutely necessary for the proper care of your baby. Higher and higher I went. I believe my mother called it "nesting". Some days I would hit the ceiling. In the meantime the rest of my body was suffering from exhaustion, morning sickness, heartburn, fluid build-up, constipation, hemorrhoids, bladder pressure and sleepless nights. On top of all of this you I felt so unattractive, even though my husband confirmed I never looked more beautiful. Then, for no reason whatsoever, I would complain, scream, yell and cry.

This hormone driven behavior defined the person I become during my pregnancy. One second I was a happy, glowing, mother-to-be. Then for no reason, a second later, I became a heartburn suffering, hemorrhoid inflamed bitch.

Special thought: I sometimes refer to this period of time as some of the "best days of my life."

 

 

 

Know the Meaning of Things

Definitions

ANGEL - A child who stops at nothing in order to show other people just how well mannered and polite they can be, i.e. a behavior completely opposite of the child's true personality.
Your child will use phrases which will include the words Thank You, Please, Yes sir, May I.

DIGGING - A child's unique way of exploring his or her environment.
Primary "digging" phrases:
Look the baby is "digging in his diaper." "digging in his nose" "digging in the toilet"
This "digging" continues for the remainder of the child's life.

Advanced "digging" phrases:
I found her "digging in my jewelry box." "digging around my perfume" "digging in my purse"
He was "digging in my wallet". "digging in my tool box"

DROOL - A substance similar to "Spit-Up", but it does not smell as pungent.
The problem with the "drooling" process? Once it begins it never subsides in boys. True that after age 2 it goes into remission, not to surface again until that baby boy becomes a teenager/young man and sees a pretty girl.

FEEDING PROCESS - Step 1 -Act of retrieving the baby from the crib, changing the baby's diaper, feeding the baby, nudging the baby "to wake him in order to continue feeding", burping the baby, changing baby's diaper again, changing bed linens, changing baby and mom's night clothes. This takes one to two hours, depending on whether Baby and Mother or both need a bath. Step 2 - Baby falls asleep. Mom cannot fall asleep. Finally, mom has been sleeping for twenty minutes. Step 1

IN-LAWS - People who know everything, have done everything better than you have and always remind you of this.
They attack on days when you are at the end of your patience and stressed to the max. If you have only one nerve left, the "in-laws" will be on it.

 

LOVE - A feeling you will always have for your child.
Regardless of what your child does, you will always have this pure, unconditional bond with your child.

MONEY - Something you will never be able to accumulate again.

POOPIE - Soft clay-like substance found in child's diaper. Can be found on your clothing, child's clothing, floor, bed linens and in your automobile.
Don't worry, your child's "poopie" will not smell as bad as the "poopie" of other children. God is good.

SPITTING UP - An activity your baby performs right after meals, bathing and changing their clothes.
Your little bundle of joy will "spit up" right before leaving for an important event and usually when you are running late. You will have two choices. Change you and the baby's clothes (recommended). If you merely wipe up this "spit up" you and your baby will smell like this "spit up" all day long.

TRAINING - A learning period for a parent.
There is a new phase of "training" for each year of your child's life. These "training" sessions are designed to make a parent stronger.

USE - A routine which involves you and your child visiting a bathroom.
Notice I use the word "visiting" not "using". Yes, you and your child will "visit" many bathrooms. Your child will sit on that potty and not "use" it. No need to be concerned because as soon as you are no where near a bathroom the child will "use", right then a there, just where they are. Do not rush the transition between pullups and regular underwear.