I was pregnant with my first child. I read all the books and magazines, as well as any newspaper articles concerning childbirth and raising children. NOTHING prepared me for the years ahead.
After surviving the last thirty-seven years, I feel it is my duty to inform everyone who wants to have a child the "TRUTH".
Although I am writing in an attempt to be funny, I want to make it clear that what I write is the "TRUTH".
Up, Up and Away On Those Pregnancy Hormones
"Congratulations, you are pregnant", my doctor said. What he should have said was, "Welcome to a world of confusion, chaos, worry and responsibility." Then those raging hormones were taking me higher and higher, to the land of designing the nursery, to the joys of all the baby showers. All those cute baby clothes and gadgets, you can never have too many things absolutely necessary for the proper care of your baby. Higher and higher I went. I believe my mother called it "nesting". Some days I would hit the ceiling. In the meantime the rest of my body was suffering from exhaustion, morning sickness, heartburn, fluid build-up, constipation, hemorrhoids, bladder pressure and sleepless nights. On top of all of this you I felt so unattractive, even though my husband confirmed I never looked more beautiful. Then, for no reason whatsoever, I would complain, scream, yell and cry.
This hormone driven behavior defined the person I become during my pregnancy. One second I was a happy, glowing, mother-to-be. Then for no reason, a second later, I became a heartburn suffering, hemorrhoid inflamed bitch.
Special thought: I sometimes refer to this period of time as some of the "best days of my life."
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