The Baby Blues

I was so happy (most of the time) during my pregnancy and I was even happier after the delivery of my beautiful, healthy baby boy. I never thought this could happen to me.

When I first gave birth it was called the"baby blues" and no one talked about it. How could I be so irritable, feel so sad and cry most of the time. I had to try to hide my feelings. This could not be normal.

I struggled to camouflage my irritability and sadness. When I cried, I said it was because I was so "happy". This was a very difficult time for me.

I knew of a few other women who had been hospitalized for suffering from the "baby blues". They were labeled as being "crazy". These women should have been happy, something had to be wrong with them. I could never risk being labeled "crazy", I had to keep quiet.

Thank goodness these "baby blues" did subside in about two weeks.

And thank goodness this is now called postpartum depression and considered a normal part of early motherhood.  Just the old hormones getting back to normal.

The Diaper War of 1974

Every parent has taken a picture of their child wearing only a diaper. I'll bet every parent has a baby picture of themselves wearing only a diaper. Diapers, the ultimate baby staple. You cannot raise a baby without them.

The diaper war, cloth diaper versus disposable diaper, has been going on since the disposable diaper was invented. I was drafted into this war in 1974. The battle being fought at that time was the "cost" battle. Back in those days disposable diapers were considered very expensive and two income households were the exception and not the norm.

I began the war fighting for the cause of the cloth diaper. This lasted two days. The constant smell of ammonia coming from the bucket of diapers soaking in the laundry room began to alter my brain function. I had already "disposed" of three cloth diapers in this short period of time, so it seemed only logical to switch sides in this war.

Believe me, disposable diapers in 1974 were not at all like the diapers of today. The diapers of 1974 were merely a smaller version of hospital bed pads with tape on the corners. Re-taping a perfectly usable diaper involved using duct tape and a 3M bonding solution. Their unique 'wingfold' design was a guarantee that only half of the contents would actually be contained in the diaper.

Today infantry soldiers, I mean parents, are so lucky to have ultra dry thin diapers in the hourglass shape, with absorbent gelling material, featuring the frontal tape system, which allows multiple repositioning of the lateral tape without tearing the diaper, in sizes ranging from Preemie to size 7. (I'm out of breath just typing that sentence.)

Still the diaper war continues. The impact of disposable diapers versus cloth diapers, battle "environment".

I am so glad to be retired from the diaper military. Good luck to all you diaper soldiers of the world.

He Is The Cutest One

Since labor was induced for the birth of my first child there is nothing memorable to blog about the trip to the hospital. (Wait until the blog about the hospital trip for birth number four. Trust me that will be a trip.)
Arrive at hospital, (fast forward) I have now given birth to a beautiful baby boy. Oh, my God, I am a mother.

Flowers, balloons, gift baskets and people filled the room. I could barely make my way (in a wheelchair, common practice at the time) to the nursery viewing window to see my baby boy. (Have you viewed the movie My Big, Fat Greek Wedding? Well that is my family. Only if the movie would have been inspired by my life the title would have been "My Big, Pork and Crawfish Fat, Boudin Eating Cajun Family").

Every living person related to my baby is standing at that window, in addition to the spirits of deceased Great Grandma Lucy and Great Aunt Ky, my cousin Rose could just feel their presence. Everyone had an opinion (you know what they say about an "opinion") as to who our baby looked like. I could hear the relatives commenting, "Oh, he looks like his dad", "No, he looks like his mom", "He is the spitting image of Paw Paw Gus", "No he's little Xavier, Aunt Marilyn's nephew made all over again", ... )
One thing everyone agreed on, he was the cutest baby in the nursery and maybe his little round head did remind me of Paw Paw Gus.

After five days in the hospital mommy and baby are coming home. (Back in those days a complication free delivery required a five day hospital stay.)

He looked at me with those big brown eyes. I held him close and whispered, "We're taking you home today".

Once at home, we were greeted by close friends and relatives bearing prepared food dishes and eagerly awaiting their turn to hold the baby.
I visited with my friends and relatives. My mother fixed a wonderful dinner for all of us. The homecoming day was just perfect.

On top of all of this, my baby was a perfect angel (see definitions). He slept almost all day long.

After everyone left, I realized just how tired I really was. I couldn't wait to take a good long shower and get a good nights sleep.  It was really impossible to get a good night's sleep in the hospital.  Then, my bundle of joy awoke, looked at me with those big brown eyes as if to say, "You ain't seen nothing yet!"

My Journey Begins

It was 1973 ...

I was pregnant with my first child. I read all the books and magazines, as well as any newspaper articles concerning childbirth and raising children. NOTHING prepared me for the years ahead.

After surviving the last thirty-seven years, I feel it is my duty to inform everyone who wants to have a child the "TRUTH".

Although I am writing in an attempt to be funny, I want to make it clear that what I write is the "TRUTH".

Up, Up and Away On Those Pregnancy Hormones

"Congratulations, you are pregnant", my doctor said. What he should have said was, "Welcome to a world of confusion, chaos, worry and responsibility." Then those raging hormones were taking me higher and higher, to the land of designing the nursery, to the joys of all the baby showers. All those cute baby clothes and gadgets, you can never have too many things absolutely necessary for the proper care of your baby. Higher and higher I went. I believe my mother called it "nesting". Some days I would hit the ceiling. In the meantime the rest of my body was suffering from exhaustion, morning sickness, heartburn, fluid build-up, constipation, hemorrhoids, bladder pressure and sleepless nights. On top of all of this you I felt so unattractive, even though my husband confirmed I never looked more beautiful. Then, for no reason whatsoever, I would complain, scream, yell and cry.

This hormone driven behavior defined the person I become during my pregnancy. One second I was a happy, glowing, mother-to-be. Then for no reason, a second later, I became a heartburn suffering, hemorrhoid inflamed bitch.

Special thought: I sometimes refer to this period of time as some of the "best days of my life."

 

 

 

Know the Meaning of Things

Definitions

ANGEL - A child who stops at nothing in order to show other people just how well mannered and polite they can be, i.e. a behavior completely opposite of the child's true personality.
Your child will use phrases which will include the words Thank You, Please, Yes sir, May I.

DIGGING - A child's unique way of exploring his or her environment.
Primary "digging" phrases:
Look the baby is "digging in his diaper." "digging in his nose" "digging in the toilet"
This "digging" continues for the remainder of the child's life.

Advanced "digging" phrases:
I found her "digging in my jewelry box." "digging around my perfume" "digging in my purse"
He was "digging in my wallet". "digging in my tool box"

DROOL - A substance similar to "Spit-Up", but it does not smell as pungent.
The problem with the "drooling" process? Once it begins it never subsides in boys. True that after age 2 it goes into remission, not to surface again until that baby boy becomes a teenager/young man and sees a pretty girl.

FEEDING PROCESS - Step 1 -Act of retrieving the baby from the crib, changing the baby's diaper, feeding the baby, nudging the baby "to wake him in order to continue feeding", burping the baby, changing baby's diaper again, changing bed linens, changing baby and mom's night clothes. This takes one to two hours, depending on whether Baby and Mother or both need a bath. Step 2 - Baby falls asleep. Mom cannot fall asleep. Finally, mom has been sleeping for twenty minutes. Step 1

IN-LAWS - People who know everything, have done everything better than you have and always remind you of this.
They attack on days when you are at the end of your patience and stressed to the max. If you have only one nerve left, the "in-laws" will be on it.

 

LOVE - A feeling you will always have for your child.
Regardless of what your child does, you will always have this pure, unconditional bond with your child.

MONEY - Something you will never be able to accumulate again.

POOPIE - Soft clay-like substance found in child's diaper. Can be found on your clothing, child's clothing, floor, bed linens and in your automobile.
Don't worry, your child's "poopie" will not smell as bad as the "poopie" of other children. God is good.

SPITTING UP - An activity your baby performs right after meals, bathing and changing their clothes.
Your little bundle of joy will "spit up" right before leaving for an important event and usually when you are running late. You will have two choices. Change you and the baby's clothes (recommended). If you merely wipe up this "spit up" you and your baby will smell like this "spit up" all day long.

TRAINING - A learning period for a parent.
There is a new phase of "training" for each year of your child's life. These "training" sessions are designed to make a parent stronger.

USE - A routine which involves you and your child visiting a bathroom.
Notice I use the word "visiting" not "using". Yes, you and your child will "visit" many bathrooms. Your child will sit on that potty and not "use" it. No need to be concerned because as soon as you are no where near a bathroom the child will "use", right then a there, just where they are. Do not rush the transition between pullups and regular underwear.